Guns and Dolls
List of Marty Stark's Excuses for Not Blogging (Now almost 50% True!)
1. Everytime Marty is hit with an urge to write, partners at Gateway Gig utter statements such as "By the way Marty, we're going to trial in November and you're second chair," or "Yes, I know you were in the office until 1:30 a.m. and you're not even a full time lawyer, but I need you to draft a motion in limine that has to be filed tomorrow and that I knew about for two weeks before you leave today--why yes, I know it's 1:00 p.m" and "You are never going to escape . . . ever."
2. Angry Yellow is seriously considering Telemundo's offer of taking the lead role in a new dramatic mini-series entitled LOS NOCHES DEL PADRE CALIENTE--He may be a man of God, but God is he a seh-xy man.
3. Ice weasels! Oh dear lord ICE WEASELS!
4. Marty has been seriously thinking about the directions the blog should take: keep it an eccentric goulash of confessional, prose, musings about the legal profession that put together smells vaguely of burnt wiring and onions, focus on one particular area, or write under yet another assumed name so he can candidly write without getting sharp things nailed into his eyes while he's asleep.
5. Marty has been seriously thinking about the directions his life should take. At least that navel-gazing has some resolution: Marty wants a life that he doesn't want to run away from. That last little ditty was brought to you by the fine folks at "Statements that aren't cliches but sure sound as smug and unoriginal." Those same fine folks are also looking for a new corporate name.
6. DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID!!! ICE WEASELS!!!
7. Holding back the male weepies at the end of every uplifting-yet-not-in-a-preachy-sort-of-way endings on one of Marty's favorite new shows of the TV season, Jack and Bobby (but alas, this must be a false entry for EL PADRE CALIENTEweeps only for the poor underprivileged children of his small village and those who are not as CALIENTE as EL PADRE CALIENTE).
8. Remember when that punk ass wannabe actor who looked like Jan Michael Vincent's younger and more addicted to smack brother who did a really piss poor performance as your waiter at the Westwood Olive Garden a couple of weeks ago? Well, the good news is that you did not increase your inadvertant intake of urine that night. However, brother, that wasn't oregeno on your all you can eat pasta and salad.