Gorecki

An open letter:

All I want you to be is happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. Ever since the first time I saw you, I knew you were special, and all I ever wanted to do was make you happy. Why do you think I was goofy all the time around you? Why do you think I spent those long hours talking to you?

All I’ve ever knew you to be is unhappy. You would call me constantly to ask me my advice, or just to talk. And I would sit and listen, feeling sad that you were sad. Feeling sad that Jon was in the other room watching hockey, putting you off because he took you for granted, thinking that you would be with him. I never put any conditions on our friendship.

In the last two weeks, all I ever knew you to be is happy. I knew I found the one I waited for. I knew you found the one you waited for too.

Today, you told me that in your heart that you just know you have a future with him. And I’m telling you today, in my heart, that you don’t, at least not a happy future. That if you stay with your decision, you’ll be so unhappy and you’ll be thinking of me. That you’ll just be sad. I know this in my heart.

All I’m asking you at this point is to think, just to think about this:

I trusted you this morning, knowing that this might happen, and I never said that I would stop caring about you. And meanwhile, Jon threatened you, said this would be the end if you came back to pick up your stuff.

Your friends say that you were unhappy with him. I said that you should be single for a month, that I would wait. And meanwhile, Jon threatened you, saying I manipulated you into feeling this.

I’ve told you, I respected your decision, no matter what. I’ve told you, I agree with your friend, that you should think about what you want, that I want what’s best for you. And meanwhile, Jon threatened you, saying it’s me or him.

Do you want to throw away everything between us for a man who doesn’t realize what he’s missing until he realizes it’s gone? Do you want to throw away everything between us for a man who only says he’s going to change because he’s threatened? Do you want to throw away everything to a man who’s the true manipulator?

You asked me, “What should I do? He said it’s over if I go over to you.” I should’ve said, “It’s supposed to be over. You were supposed to let him know it was over.” I should’ve insisted that one of your friends or cousins go with you. I should’ve insisted that you stay home with your parents to figure things out.

All I have left is this letter. All I have left to convince you is this. When you were over at my place, the only song in my mind was this song. I still feel this way. All I can do is let you know, that I still feel the lyrics. All I can say is I know you feel the same way. All I can say is that Jon will never, ever, say these words to you:

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still in my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Wanna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
Wanna stay right here
'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here
'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

I know in my heart that Jon will never say this to you. I know in my heart that you will be so sad, a month, two months, a year from know. I know in my heart that he will not change. That he hasn’t been willing to change before. I know in my heart that anyone not willing to let you go like I will isn’t the right person for you. I know in my heart that you’ll regret it if you stay with this decision.

I will never stop caring for you. I will never stop loving you. But you have to know that everything feels wrong. You have to know that if you stay with this decision, I will never stop caring for you, but that I can no longer be there for you.

All I’m asking is that you spend time away from the both of us. All I’m asking is that you talk to your friends and see what they have to say. All I’m asking is that you stop thinking about how scared you are and figure out that you truly want. You know that you’re happy with me. You know that you haven’t been happy with Jon in a long long time. You know all I want is for you to be happy regardless of your decision. Please just make the decision wisely, away from Jon and me. And whatever your decision is if you do take time away from both of us to think, if you do ask your friends and relatives, the same friends and relatives who’ve told you that you haven’t been happy with Jon, and you decide to stay with Jon, I can respect that. But to make a decision right now is just too hurtful.

Please don’t doubt that I care about you, but if you make this decision without taking some time off, then you have no right to care about me. You have no right to worry about me. This is not an ultimatum. This is me telling you how I feel.

I don’t know what else to say now except that all I want for you is happiness. I want you to know that I will love you always, and that I hope you make a decision out of love and not fear. All I can do is hope that you make the right decision. I love you enough to give you up. I know Jon doesn’t love you enough to do this. And that’s all I have to say.