I'm A Midwest College Student . . .

It's Random Anecdotes Time!!!

1. This afternoon, one of my female neighbors was having a loud cell phone conversation in the hall, which would usually annoy me. I mean, c'mon, it's not like you can't have this conversation in your own unit which is less than 10 feet away. But then she said the following magic words, "So I started making out with her . . " I know, bad me listening to a private conversation. But let me remind you--she was in the hallway, and she was loud. She might as well have been screaming in a megaphone exclaiming to the world her bisexuality. Oh, and she was slender, Asian and not just a little cute.

So on she went, discussing with her friend, who is apparently also a bi female, about being bi. And an incident where she crashed with another female bi friend and a male friend-in-law on a futon. And how this other female bi friend always initiated things with her, like "we'd get our legs tangled, and then she'd pull my hair and kiss me on the forehead."

There are no adequate analogies to describe my frustration at this point. I can only say I'm as frustrated as a heterosexual male knowing that one of his cute neighbors is having sex with women in the same apartment complex.

2. To the FOB woman who IM'd me on Thursday night. What part of "I do not give out free legal advice" do you not understand? And you don't want your insurance raised? Well maybe you shouldn't be following cars so close that you end up rear-ending them when they stop for a firetruck. And take some fucking responsibility for your actions--it was your goddamn fault you rearended her. Also, if you're interested in meeting people on-line, maybe you shouldn't tell them you're into surveillance cameras and hidden microphones--see, that screams out STALKER. And maybe you shouldn't tell them that you just came from a church singles group as a way of introduction, or ask for their photo within the first five minutes. And honey, maybe your complete inability to put a proper sentence together may turn on pasty-white middle-aged accountants from Secaucus, but it's a complete turnoff for everyone else. And I sincerely hope that your church group is a support group, 'cuz you sure do need a lot of it.