New Year's Prayer

Oh, the wonders of the human mind.

There's a part of me that knows, deep down inside, knowledge as certain as the sun rising tomorrow, that knows that I did something bad in a past life. I hurt someone. I received love I didn't deserve. I shunned what was given. All that I felt today, all that I'll get with tomorrow, everything is an atonement for something I have done and have forgotten. Happiness is not to be expected.

There's also a part of me that knows, deep down inside, knowledge as certain as waking to the first breath of the morning, that knows there is only this life. There is no second chance. There was no forgotten past. All you get is now. You can go at anytime. Every opportunity must be seized. Seconds not spent on pursuing happiness are seconds wasted.

Two mutually exclusive ideas both deeply held. Ain't that a bitch.