John Of The Dead

95% is in numb shock still. 3% is in absolute shaking anger. The 2% snarkiness clinging on to life wants to bring you this witty observation about one of life's cliches. Here it is:

You know that saying that goes something to the effect of "Well, everyone has been through [insert painful thing that everyone has been through--e.g., a broken heart, getting fired, awaiting for the results of an STD test]." The purpose of that statement is to make you feel better by letting you know that you are not alone. Here by example is the inherent weakness in that statement. If everyone had their left testicle squeezed in a vice at some point of their life, that doesn't make getting your left testicle currently being squeezed by a vice feel any better, does it? No, instead you still are going through excrutiating pain that shoots through your body and is so intense that your left eyeball feels like it is going to pop out. (I understand that this analogy may be lost on any female readers, but fuck it, I'm a heartbroken mess so pardon me if I can't think of any unisex analogies).

What, you'd rather have the 95% back writing this blog? Nuts to you (no pun intended).