Head Like A Hole

Morally Flexible Partner is a caricature, a cliche, a stereotypical fat slob. He's so grossly over the top that you can't believe he's a genuine human being. Remember the Fat Guy in the French restaurant in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life? OK, Morally Flexible Partner is not that fat, but he has the same manners. He called me into his office a week ago to discuss a pleading, and he was shovelling his face full of food. Morally Flexible Partner started talking while he was chewing, and in between moist chomps, exhaling heavily. As soon as he was finished forking pasta salad into his maw, he then tore open a bag of chips, grabbed a fistful in his sausage fingers and just smashed them into his mouth.

During work hours, you can hear his loud craw (and oddly girlish giggle) when he talks on the phone, even with his door closed. And he's not talking about work usually. No, he's talking about his ex-wife who's taken the furniture, or making slightly racist comments (then lowering his voice realizing that the word processor, who is black, is sitting in the cubicle outside his office).

I've heard the tapes of this guy on another case back when I was at another firm. The man is Morally Flexible, and even worse, not that great of a lawyer (though I wonder how the hell he became partner at all these BigLaws).

So added to my many prayers (well, since I'm agnostic, I guess wishes on a rainbow or some other such crap) is that I hope I don't end up like Morally Flexible Partner.