Helpless

Another Time Time After Time
You Make Me Feel So Helpless
-- Sugar, "Helpless"

During the day, I'm beginning not to feel so bad. I have a semblence of life coming back together. And I admit that I still think about her, a little sadness, a little heartache, but I don't shake and I don't sob.

But night is a different story. Last night, I thought I fell asleep. At 2:30 a.m., I realized that something was strange, wrong. Then I realized--I still had my eyes open. I had my eyes open for a while.

When I finally did fall asleep, there was no consolation. There was a voice saying "You can never talk to her again." And then it was late at night in my dream. I got a call from Setup Chick. She was on a train. Her car was at the station in a really bad part of town. If she got off the train by herself, she would be attacked, hurt, killed. So I drove to the station to protect her. She says that she can't see me. And I'm at the station lit by the sickly orange light from an old sodium lamp which barely keeps out the black night. I get sad and scared and angry when she tells me this. "Why did you call me then?" I ask. "What do you want me to do? You call me up, telling me where you're going. You know I love you and you know I can't let you come here alone and be hurt, and you tell me I can't be here. What do you want me to do? You know that you'll be hurt. How can I just sit back knowing that you'll die if you arrive at the station alone?" I can't do a damn thing.

Time After Time What's On Your Mind
You Make Me Feel So Helpless
You Never Tried What's On Your Mind
You Make Me Feel So Helpless