Age of Greed

I don't mind if you want to stuff yourself so full of food that you breathe hard simply by breathing, that no matter how extra large the shirt it doesn't hide your white ass cracker belly that hangs out like a burst bratwurst. Look, there are only a few things that brighten the day, and if food does that for you, by all means, enjoy what you can and stuff your life to the fullest. I myself have a weakness for chili cheese fries.

But you know, when your enjoyment begins to affect others, c'mon. Like if your stomach is so large that it comes dangerously close to touching the office urinals even when you stand a foot back so that your after drops miss the porcelain by a good six inches, and that a normal guy has to spread his legs to avoid the puddle from your shakes when he uses said urinals, that's friggin' ridiculous.

I'm not saying Morally Flexible Partner is guilty of making the office men's room smell like a frat party's john on hazing night. I'm just saying that since he started, we need sawdust in the office men's room.