Six Feet Under

Scenario 6:
I arrive to the new pad on Tuesday afternoon. After getting my keys and letting my cat out of the carrier, I give a couple of friends a call to let them know I'm finally in L.A. I'd rather not spend the evening in an apartment without furniture, so my pals and I decided to meet down in Westwood for a couple of drinks. Mutual friend of L.A. Chick and me shows up. I've already decided not to ask mutual friend about L.A. Chick--I acted as go-between for a couple back in high school and boy was that annoying. My plan is to give L.A. Chick a call when my stuff finally arrives and I'm somewhat settled. Unfortunately, mutual friend makes that all moot.

L.A. Chick also shows up, gives mutual friend a kiss, and they hold hands. I guess mutual friend is no longer just a friend of L.A. Chick. I head to the bar and order three shots of J.D. and down those suckers in less than 10 seconds. I say hi and make nice with mutual friend and L.A. Chick. I make some small talk with L.A. Chick about the new Sheryl Crow album and Liz Phair's backup vocals for "Soak Up The Sun." I do a decent job of not seeming uncomfortable (at least I hope I do). Mutual friend talks to me later in the night, sort of apologizing about being with L.A. Chick, but it has been four months after all. I act all affable and pull a Clark Kent on Smallville.

But, I'll return to an apartment that's empty save for my cat and me, feeling somewhat betrayed.