You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby

...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Scenario 4 is the winner!!! Well that was quick and painful. "Um, I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a romantic thing, but I have a boyfriend." "Oh, well I'll let you get back to work then." Hey, at least there were no awkward pauses (and it was via the phone, local call, no toll charges).

I'm reminded of one of Homer Simpson's more inspired outbursts--"Why must everything I do end in failure!"