Alex Descends Into Hell For A Bottle Of Milk

For the first time in my life, I am taking medication for depression. I know, this is a surprise for most of you in a "you mean you weren't on medication before" way, you bastards. But with health issues, Her leaving me and a slowdown at work, I needed to do something.

Lexapro--sounds like a legal research software. Like prozac, Lexapro is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). Serotonin, to put it in layman's terms, makes you happy. Block the reuptake of serotonin, the more serotonin there is flowing in the brain. The more serotonin in the brain, the happier you are. Theoretically. Anyway, Lexapro is supposedly different from prozac in the lexapro is more geared to depression. If prozac is coke, Lexapro is coffee.

So what does Day One in Better Living Through Chemistry feels like? It doesn't feel like it's 72 degrees in my brain. My first thought is numb, but that's not accurate. I don't feel lethargic or melancholy. My heart still feels sad, but it's like it's not my heart. I also react normally around people--I smile when I speak; I'm articulate. But inside me, it feels like there's not really a me, that I'm on auto-pilot. Maybe this is a placebo effect. It is the first day after all. Maximum benefit takes 4 to 6 weeks. But I feel like what a clinical psychiatrist would characterize as a light disassociative effect. I'm taking a break from myself.