I'm Radioactive

No caffeine for me today, I have a nuclear stress test tomorrow! That entails the hospital injecting me with a radioactive isotope twice--once at rest, and then once on a treadmill with gamma x-rays being directed at me both times. This is done so they can see whether there are any heart issues I should be crappin' in my pants about.

I'm really hoping for some gnarly superpowers from the all that radiation, like:

1. To make people get what they deserve and not what they want (ha ha red states-no more pork barrel for you parasitic fuckers);
2. To make women fucking wet when they meet a nice and decent guy;
3. Super novel writing ability;
4. To know what love is (I just put that in there to make you readers have Foreigner run through your heads all day, so suffer);
5. Flying (d'uh).