Only Forward

"When I say I'm tired, you see, I don't just mean that I'm tired. I have this disease. It's nothing new; people have had it for centuries. You know when you've got nothing in particular to do, nothing to stay awake for? When your life is just routine and it doesn't feel like it belongs to you, how you feel tired and sad and listless and everything seems like too much effort? Well, it's like that, but much worse, because everything is much worse these days." -- Stark from Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith

All the cases from the latest ContractGig got pushed back, so the last thing the permanents want to do is give work to the contract guy, no matter how funny, talented and wicked smart the contract guy is. She walked out of my life to "explore" a week ago--and no, being told that I'm the first man to ever make Her feel like a woman is not any consolation. Not having much to do and no one to go home to is NOT a good combination.

I know, be proactive! Put on a smile and open your heart to the world! You're free, my man, free! And I'm trying. Hey, back on the saddle on Match and Okcupid! But there's only so many e-mails you can send out to so many profiles, and let's face it, I don't know a soul who as met the one who stops the world for them on these sites.

Unfortunately, even though I'd rather keep writing about my broken heart and whatnot, I know whinging gets really tired really fast. And since I can't drink alcohol (well, not as much as I used to) because of the high blood pressure, I might need some assistance from the wonderful pharmaceutical industry. Maybe get some Prozac, perhaps some Xanax as well. Better living through chemistry!