Inertia Creeps

So it's not like this week has been awful. I mean, hell, I only had to go into work 3 days this week. But this has been one of those weeks which feels a bit like a way station. Nothing happened, nothing is happening, and you're just sitting there waiting until the next train arrives. It's during these times--maybe it's the lack of external stimulus, maybe it's because I'm naturally a melancholy l'il fucker--that it feels like life is passing me by. I'm waiting in the way station, all my friends are already speeding along the tracks to their destination. They have significant others, families, weekends running house errands. Me? Hey, I bought kitty litter today.

Some of this is exacerbated (yeah, I know, I shouldn't be using dollar words where nickel words would suffice, but fuck it, you don't call a pomegranate an apple) by the fact I took over a year off, decided to step off the whole steady job track and do things my way. During that year, my pals developed in their careers and personal lives. I wrote a bit, putzed around way too much (so I do know this whole intertia thing is my fault). I would have thought moving down to Lalaland and getting back into the whole legal groove of things would have helped.

It has partly--this weekend notwithstanding, I've been going out every week. I went on a couple of dates. I've danced with adorable women. But the legal groove just isn't funky. One of the associates at SmallLaw told me there was a lot of turnover of associates. I get the impression that, despite all the talk about the office being a BigLaw refugee haven and folks being there for the pure practice of law, most of the folks there are either 1) waiting for the economy to bounce back so they can jump back into BigLaw or 2) they're at best apathetic about the law but they need the cash and don't know what else to do (you'd be surprised how many lawyers in both BigLaw and SmallLaw who fall into the latter category).

Hmmmm, maybe my issue isn't about not getting back on track so I can play catch up, but rather my issue is not seeing the point in getting back on track. I mean, sure, a steady income is a good thing when trying to hook up with a nice chiqua. But do you really want to be going out with someone who only cares about the checks you bring in? Yeah, that latter part sounds a bit too ABC Aftershool Special for Adults, though it does bring it all back to the whole "What's the point?" issue I've been having lately.

Heh heh, I bet you think I've had a bit too much to drink at this point. Funny thing, I haven't had anything to drink at all today. Maybe it's time to start.