Living With The Law

Who woulda thunk in all the dross that is the Greedy Associates Silicon Valley Board someone woulda posted something concise and intelligent about the ennui and despair that many lawyers suffer?

Some of my non-lawyer friends have mentioned that for a bunch of folks making six-figures, BigLaw lawyers sure are a whiney fucking lot. When I was a wee lad just starting out at BigLaw, I would've agreed with them. I knew what I was getting into, and I was grateful for da benjamins coming into Marty Stark's Porn and Pimp-Mobile Account. Yet the more I practiced, the more I became embittered. Perhaps it's best to explain with an example.

Say you were offered $125K to shovel shit. All types of shit. The runny kind. The splattered kind. The kind with chunks of corn and what not still in it. I'm sure there are a lot of folks who'd say, "$125K is a $125K. I'd take it." Fine. But wait, this shit shoveling isn't 9 to 5, it's 9 to 9 if you're lucky. Then you're told that vacation you planned in Fiji to placate your significant other that you love like the dickens who's been threatening to leave you because you smell like, well, shit? You gotta cancel it because there's emergency shit shoveling that needs to be done. Have a family already? Can't see 'em because you're shoveling shit even on the weekends. Now, one would expect that after a certain amount of time, you'd rise to the rank of senior shit shoveller and could delegate some shit shovelling duties, maybe get some equity in all the profits the firm is making shoveling shit. Ahhh, but you'd be wrong. Not only do you have to continue shoveling shit for twelve hours a day plus weekends, you also have to find new shit to shovel. You can't tell me you wouldn't be a whiney fucking bastard even with the six-figure income after this.